So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
