Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
