I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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