this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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