the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
