2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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