He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
