24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
