that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize