You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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