I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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