my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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