I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
