I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
