It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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