Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I currently don't understand fingers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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