my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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