Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
