Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
