If i come over, it means nothing
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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