drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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