I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
