wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
