Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
