all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Floor bacon is actually really good
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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