My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
