i think i have two assholes
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Randomize
