your thong is hanging out like whoa
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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