JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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