My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize