dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
