He is an equal opportunity slut.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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