Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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