She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Someone signed my nipple.
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