Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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