We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize