he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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