I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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