Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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