i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
