Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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