So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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