kristin has been a bad kristin
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
