Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
