Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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