Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
