Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
my sisters under your porch take her home
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
