The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Found the puke drawer
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
