I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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