God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize