At least make sure they are 18
Why
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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