i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
