Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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