areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I understand Curling. That high.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
