Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
