Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
