Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Randomize
