The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize